Penguin
by I Don't Know What I Am Doing
Summary: There is a penguin, that is all you need to know.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fan-fiction so be nice. I thought this idea up when I was half asleep. So…

I do not own Doctor Who…or penguins.

The Doctor smiled like a maniac. "Well that was fun!" He declared, wiping soot from the explosion off his face. "Where to next?"

Rose smiled back at him. "I think we should clean ourselves up bit, before going anywhere else."

"Okay, fine."

Rose turned and walked off towards the Tardis bathroom, as the Doctor watched her longingly.

'She's so beautiful.' He thought. Then he shook his head. "No, stop this. She's a human, you're a time-lord." He scolded himself.

Turning back to the console of the Tardis, he began to fiddle with the controls.

When suddenly… "Merp!"

Looking up, the Doctor was meet with an unexpected sight.

A penguin. There was a penguin on board his Tardis.

To say he was surprised was an understatement.

"What hell?"

"Merp."

The Doctor looked about the room in confusion. "What are you doing here? How did you get in here? Why are you here and why…am I talking to a penguin?"

"Merp. Merp." The penguin tilted it's head to the side.

"Don't sass me, I'm a timelord." The Doctor snapped angrily.

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp."

"Oh yeah, well…you're a bird that can't fly."

The penguin's eyes narrowed. "Merp. Merp. Merp! Merp! Merp!"

The Doctor gasped in shock. "How dare you!"

If penguins could smirk, this penguin would. "Merp!"

Rose walked along the Tardis corridor, drying her hair with a towel.

"WELL YOUR FEET LOOK WEIRD!"

"MERP!"

Rose peered into the Tardis console room. Before her was the Doctor rolling around on the floor, being attacked by a penguin.

Then Rose Tiler, did what any loyal companion would do. She got her camera phone and filmed it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two- Jack meets the penguin.

I don't own Doctor Who

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Jack Harkness sat in his spaceship, spinning his chair around.

He was bored. The adrenalin rush from escaping the time agency had worn off. Now he was so bored.

"Computer," He called, stopping the chair's motion. "Computer, I am bored, initiate the protocol."

"Which one?" Asked the A.I.

"Doesn't matter, they all result in the same thing."

"Yes, Captain." The computer replied in it's emotionless feminine voice.

A glass of wine appeared out of the control deck.

"Hooray!" Jack cheered.

He raised his glass in a mock salute and took a sip.

"Merp."

Spinning his chair around he saw… a penguin.

"Merp. Merp."

Jack looked down at his drink, then at the penguin, then at his drink.

"This stuff works quickly."

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Should there be part two of Jack & the penguin?

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three- You again!

(I don't actually know what sound penguins make, merp just seemed appropriate.)

I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

The next time penguin appeared, was under completely different circumstances.

"Go. To. Your. Room!"

Slowly all the gas-mask zombies turned, walked over to their beds and lay down.

The Doctor let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness that worked, those would have been terrible last words."

"Merp."

"You!" The Doctor and Jack both yelled.

The gas-mask creatures all shifted. Everybody froze. Rose slowly drew out her camera phone.

"Merp."

The Doctor turned to Jack. "When did you meet the penguin?" He asked in a whisper.

"Once on my ship, I thought I was drunk."

"Because you normally see penguins while you're drunk?"

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp."

The Doctor rounded on the penguin. "I didn't ask you."

The penguins eyes narrowed. "Merp." It said slowly.

"No, you don't sass me, I sass you. I'm the Doctor."

Jack took a step closer to Rose, making her heart increase. The leaned his head in and whispered in her ear. "Why is your friend talking to a penguin?"

"Because he speaks penguin." Rose whispered back, like that was normal.

He nodded his head slowly. "Are you filming this?"

"Yeah."

At this point the argument had become heated.

"Well, the same to you." The Doctor snapped angrily.

"Merp! Merp!"

"Shut up!" He shouted at the penguin.

Once again the gas-mask zombies stirred and everybody froze up. After the moment of tension passed, the Doctor turned back to the penguin.

"That's it, I don't have time for you right now." He turned to the others. "Come on."

Then he took off running. Rose switched her camera phone off and followed him. Jack hesitated and the followed them.

"Merp."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four- Pool

I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

Every since Rose had discovered the Tardis pool, she had visited it as often as she could. She lay silently on the inflatable lounge, as it floated aimlessly. She was completely relaxed.

Uncaring of the sound of explosions. What did the Doctor and Jack say they were making again? It didn't matter.

This was her peaceful time.

"Merp."

Tilting her head to the side, she saw the penguin swimming next to her. It seemed quite happy to be in the water.

"Oh, hello." Rose said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Merp. Merp." It dived under her and resurfaced on the other side. "Merp."

Since the London Blitz, the penguin had appeared two more times.

The first time, he was right outside when the Doctor materialised (they left).

The second time, he broke into the kitchen and stole the Doctor's toast (and was chased all over the Tardis. Rose filmed it).

"At lest I think you're a he." Rose said, coming out of her own thoughts.

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp."

"Sorry if you're a girl and I'm offending you. You just look like a boy. How do you get in here anyway?"

The penguin made a weird chirpy noise (laughter?) and dived back under the lounge.

Suddenly a loud explosion echoed through the Tardis, followed by an excited, 'Fantastic!'

A few moments after, Jack speed into the room that contained the swimming pool.

"Rose, you will never guess what we've made." He said excitedly.

"Merp."

"Oh," Jack said going over to the pool edge. "It's you."

The penguin swam over to him.

"I don't think we have been properly introduced. Hi, I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

The penguin swam in a circle, jumped out of the pool and stood behind him.

"Merp. Merp."

Turning around, he crouched down, facing the penguin.

"You know what I think…"

They never got to know what Jack thought. Because the penguin choose that moment, to head-but him in the chest. Hard.

So hard that the fable Jack Harkness fell backwards into the pool.

Rose starred in disbelief as he resurfaced, spluttering.

"Merp."

Then she lost it and burst out laughing. The penguin joined in with it's chirpy sound.

"Okay, now I understand why the Doctor hates you."

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Any suggestions for what I should do next? Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five- Penginet

I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

It was 1 am. Mickey knew that he should go to sleep but, he was really worried about Rose. She had been gone for months. The only way he could have an idea were she was, was by searching the net for old photos.

He felt a bit bad about leaving her at Cardiff. But he was right, she always ran to the Doctor.

Scrolling down the line of photos, he stopped as he saw a familiar face.

"Result." He said, with a smile.

He clicked on the photo and waited for the larger image to load. After a few pain staking moments of stressful waiting, the picture loaded.

"What the?"

In a black and white photo, dated 1946 was Rose, Jack and the Doctor.

Rose was standing calmly looking into the camera, smiling beautiful. Jack and the Doctor were a completely different story. The Doctor appeared to be losing it at unseen person. Jack had his arms wrapped around the Doctor waist, to stop him from attacking.

Before Mickey could even try to understand what was going on, the computer suddenly crashed.

"NO! How dare you?"

He was temped to punch the computer. Instead he calmly turned it back on.

"Merp."

Filling the computer screen, was the top half of a penguin, with a blue background.

"What the hell is this?"

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp."

"Is this a virus?"

The penguin's face moved closer to the screen. All of a sudden the penguin's eyes moved and stared straight at him.

He moved back. "I do not like this virus."

"Merp."

Quickly darting forward he turned of the computer. The penguin remained on the screen.

"Merrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp!"

"Argggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!"

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Can anyone guess who the Doctor was yelling at? Review


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six- Almost Alone

Oh my gosh the 50th! I can't even…it was so amazing! My favourite bit was when the interface was all like…No more.

Little bit disappointed that River didn't turn up…but I can understand why she didn't.

"But first my love, you have a promise to keep."

"What did she just say?"

"Put the gun down!"

Anyway…

I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

A loud wheezing sound echoed through the Game Centre. The last of the Tardis disappeared, as Jack stared in disbelief.

The Doctor had left him?

He started to tremble and blinked back tears. He didn't understand. Sinking to his knees, he began fall into a infinite spiral of thoughts.

He didn't understand.

Why had he been left behind?

Wasn't he shot by a dalek?

Where had all the daleks gone?

Where had the Doctor gone?

Didn't the Tardis already leave?

What had happened to Rose?

Jack felt himself shaking. He was alone.

"Merp."

Looking up he saw the now familiar sight, of sleek black and feathers.

"Merp."

"Oh, hello again. It's been a while since 1946."

A low chirping sound rumbled out of the penguins throat. It lent forward and nuzzled into his chest.

He did the only rational thing he could. He wrapped his arms around the penguin.

'I'm hugging a penguin.' he thought tiredly.

A short beak reached into his vest pocket. Jack pulled out of the hug and flopped back onto the ground.

"I'm stuck. He's left in his box and I'm stuck here."

If penguins could roll there eyes, this one would. It placed the vortex manipulator, it pick pocketed on the ground.

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp."

"I'm doomed."

The penguin narrowed it's eyes. "Merp. Merp." It said in an annoyed tone.

"Doomed to be stuck here forever." Jack said dramatically. "With a lot of cameras…and a penguin. I could make YouTube videos."

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp!"

Jack turned his head and looked at the penguin. "What?"

Using it's beak, the penguin nudged the vortex manipulator towards him. "Merp."

Jack looked at the penguin, then at the vortex manipulator, then at the penguin. Then he got it.

"Oh, of corse." He looked at the penguin and grinned. "But…about the YouTube thing?"

* * *

Coming soon…Ten meets the penguin. Or does the John Hurt Doctor mean he's really the Eleventh? I'm so confused. Steven Moffat, curse you and your plot twists. Oh well, you know who I mean.

Review.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven- Alarm Call

Sorry that I took so long to update, I'd give you my excuse but…it's long and complicated. So instead I'll give you chapter seven!

I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

A hazy smoke danced around the man's face. He stirred slightly, his mouth opening a little, golden regeneration energy seeping out.

How could he know, that he was being watched?

"Merp!"

The penguin stared down at the sleeping timelord.

"Merp? Merp! Merp!"

The Doctor rolled onto his side sleepily. "Go way…sleeping." He mumbled.

"Merp."

"No."

"Merp."

"Tired."

Merp!"

"Please?"

The penguin grabbed hold of one of the new brown locks of hair and pulled.

"Ow!"

The Doctor leaped up, doing a sort of one legged dance and ending up leaning against the Tardis console for support. "What was that for?"

"Merp. Merp. Merp."

"Don't dodge the question."

"Merp! Merp. Merp."

The Doctor's eyes grew wide and he looked about, panicking. "You're right. I couldn't have got here by myself. Rose! Where's Rose?"

He darted over to the door, about to fling it open…

"Merp!"

"What do you mean, wait?"

"Merp. Merp. Merp. Merp."

He looked at the penguin in disbelief. "I have to get the timing right? I need to find Rose."

"Merp. Merp."

"If she's outside, then why am I in here with you?"

"Merp. Merp. Merp."

The Doctor straightened up. The penguin was right. He didn't want to look like a panicky idiot in front of Rose. That's Mickey's job.

He made a stern facial expression and turned to the penguin.

"How does this look?"

The penguin shook it's head. "Merp."

The timelord plastered a smug smile on his face. "Like this?"

The penguin nodded.

"Can I go now?"

Another nod.

"Okay, then." The Doctor breathed in, hands on the door handle. Then with one last look at where the penguin had been, he swung the doors open.

"Did you miss me?"

* * *

Review!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight- It's For You

Dear person, who requested more Jack Harkness, behold!

I do not own Doctor Who

* * *

To say he was mad was an understatement. Captain Jack Harkness was furious, cold, wet, lonely, confused and miserable.

One moment he was arguing with his team, about a request from Harriet Jones.

The next he was all by himself on top of a roof, with alien rope tied around his waist, fastened to a pillar to stop him from falling.

That was fine…except the alien rope had knots that melded into the rest of it. So he couldn't untie it and he had no knife to cut it.

The rope was quite obviously there to keep him safe but, his team must had forgotten him. Or they didn't want to get shouted at for firing a beam without permission.

So he had been left alone on a roof and then it had started snowing…so now he was cold.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M UP HERE!"

"Merp. Merp. Merp."

Jack's head snapped around, a familiar bird coming into view. The penguin stood a metre away from him, with a red parcel at it's feet.

His face broke into a happy grin. "Hello you, I haven't seen you for a decade! How are you? How did you get here? Can you beak cut through rope? Because if it can… I mean there are people that I need to yell… talk to."

The penguin looked at him, with an expression close to pity. Then it shook it's head and picked up the red parcel and threw it at him.

As the captain reached to pick up the present, an unexpected snowball hit him in the face.

The snowball unfortunately threw him off balance.

The rope unfortunately wrapped around his legs.

This unfortunately caused him to fall over.

It was unfortunate.

"Ow."

After a few attempts, Jack discover that trying to stand was futile. So instead, he sat cross-legged in the snow.

Carefully picking up the parcel, he turned it over to see his name written in clumsy, glittery letters.

"You've never gotten me a gift before." He said, looking up. "Thank…"

The penguin was gone.

Smirking at the sudden disappearance, he began to eagerly rip away the red paper. After removing the paper, he was faced with a cardboard box.

Jack bit his lip, the tension lifted. Slowly he opened the box and reached inside.

Grabbing onto a metal something, he pulled out his present.

The penguin had graciously given Jack Harkness… a metal jar, containing a severed hand. Said hand was being insulated by fluid and was twitching!

Slowly the captain placed the disturbing gift back in it's box. He then took a deep breath.

"What the hell is that?!"

* * *

Coming Soon on Christmas Day… A Penguin POV Christmas!

Review!


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